Back to blogging after a year and a half!

Since I last wrote I have worked at Dolphins Day Nursery, returned for another summer at Fernwood Cove in Maine, been a nanny for 3 wonderful girls in Germany for 8 months, and now I am back home living in Leeds with a new bar job at Leeds Bradford airport. Next stop: Barbados, then in October I begin another adventure in Australia.

2012 has been a year of change. It began with an almighty firework display above Edinburgh castle, a liberating feeling as it appears I was too drunk to acknowledge my fear of fireworks. Perhaps Gin in the answer after all! The New Year was a wonderful excuse for a Fernwood Cove staff reunion, and poor Maria's Edinburgh student flat suffered the consequences. My time back in England for Christmas was magical. It was a 3 week party, full of reunions, food and alcohol, and there were a few tears at Manchester airport as I left everything behind again for my last few months in Bremen. It was wonderful being back home with Michael too, and hard to leave him behind again. Shortly before leaving Bremen, things came to an end between us after almost 3 years. There is just too much I want to do and see in the world right now, and commitment doesn't quite fit into my plans. I often look back on our relationship with wonderful happy memories, and hope for him to always be in my life.

My move to German was the most spontaneous thing I've done so far in my life! Moving to a country completely alone, without speaking a word of their language didn't feel quite as daunting as it sounds, because the idea of going out on my own with the sole aim of making friends excited me more than anything. Sure it got lonely at times, but only when something went wrong at work. I love the idea of now having a wonderful group of friends, whose existance I would have been completely unaware of if I hadn't lived in Bremen; Tom, Eva, Penny, Melvin and Miran... To name a few.

The last year has proven to me that actually, there are lots of unpleasant people in the world, and actually I probably care way too much! I don't want to sound negative or pessimistic, I try to let those words feature in my life as little as possible. In fact I think it's a significant realisation, because it makes nice people move valuable. I avoid having enemies at all costs, regardless of the situation, but of course its only the lovely ones I keep in my life. And now I know never to take them for granted.

Good News

On any given day it is far from unusual for me to spend hour catching up on events around the world, but it seems far too easy to discover all the terrors going on in the world, when I’m sure just as many wonderful things are happening simultaneously. 

So why is it bad news is handed to us on a plate, while good news and beauty is to be searched for on ones own accord. Luckily I look for the bright side of every situation, but I’m sure there are many out there who focus so much on the bad things and forget about how easy life is in the21st Century.

Recently I have been watching ‘Apocalypse. The Second War’; a documentary I think should be forced viewing, but unfortunately most of England will switch into X Factor one channel below. The idea of people missing out on this program to indulge in such talent-less trivia troubles me at exactly 8 pm every Saturday, mostly because I believe that watching this documentary makes you realise what a wonderful country we live in. A bad day might be one where we feel ill, or perhaps get rained on whilst walking to the bus stop. A bad day in the 1940’s? –Invasion, death. Everything is relative.

I just think that if there were a daily access to good news around the world, the world would be a better place. The last words Anne Frank ever wrote ‘In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart'

I think what I’m trying to say is, go to efforts to find the good in life, appreciate what you have, not what you want, look around you more,  and acknowledge a ‘good day’ as one where everyone is at least healthy and happy.

Today a child waved out a bus window, and a frail old woman put her bags down just to return the wave. Her face lit up, it made her day.

Fernwood Cove 2010

'Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy' – Anne Frank

A cynical moment

It dawned on me today, whilst catching a snippet of The Sound of Music, how foreign the culture of self-respect and modesty is to young adults today. Lost in Waltz, my eyes followed the sway of dresses that reserved all dignity, the hand shakes and well-mannered gestures that seem to have dissolved in time. All that comes to mind in today’s version of life is fake tan, drugs and short skirts. In some cases it seems girls have more heel than shoe and more attitude than manners: a tasteless combination. In my eyes, clothes that leave nothing to the imagination are highly unappealing, and ultimately less rewarding. Now I sound like an old woman, but I’m not, I’m young and just as crazy as anyone my age, but I just wish sometimes people would take more time perfecting their personality than their body. 

Perhaps I am being too cynical and judgemental, and I’m also a bit of a hypocrite, as I have been swept up in the world of short skirts and high heels, and I have to admit, I have even been tempted by a bottle of ‘Fake Bake’ on a few occasions. It’s only when I am reminded of how life was a hundred years ago that I feel saddened by the way things have changed. 

Bring back the curtsies and real dancing; sometimes I think I was born into the wrong era.

Today Is A Very Sad Day

Philip Cain turned 18  five days ago.
I remember one evening last year, he came to visit Amy at Uni with is friend Mitchell. After a beer or ten, both were rather willing for me to paint their faces with lipstick, ...i say willing, but what I really mean is they were too drunk to stop me. I can only imagine his face the next morning when he realised it stained. That was one very red faced train ride back to Nottingham indeed.
He died today.

Is life really this brittle? To be alive and to be so precious seems such risky business when it can take only a few hours to take somebody away. Amongst the beauty of such wonderful existences, sits rare darkened days like these. Can't the world be a safe place?

Bless your little heart Philip. x

Today is a very sad day.

My thought for the day

Every now an again I’m reminded that this world is scattered with some rare treats. Some people don’t even have the eyes to notice them, and some are blind to their existence. 

Some people inspire, and some just exist. Putting one foot in front of the other is a poor excuse for living, but those who do it, are unaware of what they’re missing.

I know what I mean, even if you don’t.

On a final note, this boy is wonderful...

I just had to share that.

Its the Simple Things in Life

The other week I strolled routinely to catch my bus to work. There's never a soul to be seen down there, but this time was different.

There was a 20 minute wait for a bus, and a guy there, an inspiring young man. We chatted for 20 minutes about trivial events, such as how many trees there were around this area. He shook my hand; Ian was his name. He had mousy brown hair down to his shoulders, a light denim jacket hanging from his scaffolding frame, very skinny jeans, and pumps with more holes than fabric. Quite an individual.

He had gone home with a girl; Rosie, and had no idea where he was, or how he even got here. I had to tell him he was in Horsforth, a large village about 15 minutes from the centre, and which bus he had to get on to get back home. Infact, he only knew where he had gone the night before from a large 'The Cockpit' stamp on his arm. 

Its funny how waiting at a bus stop  turned a stranger into a friend for 15 minutes only. 

I hope he found his way home.

_________________

New Blog: Day one.

This blog shall be less poetic, peppered with thoughts, dwellings, doings and don’tings. Call it a diary, a story book, reality, or just a canvas to catch the spillings of my mind.
Spillings is definitely not in the dictionary, but neither am I.
Welcome to my wonderful existence.